Thursday, April 10, 2008

How I Became A Sheets: Part 7

**I want to give a 'love story' shout out to my friend MoMo who decided to write down her love story! Go check it out!
It's the cool thing to do- you should do it too! Then let me know about it so I can give you a 'love story' shout out. It's like.....reality TV for the internet. I'll just call it... reality-net.


Oh No! We're RELATED?!?!?!


After Zach told me that he loved me, I decided that it was time that I fill my parents in on this new guy. It had only been about 2 weeks since 'Guy' and I broke up, so I tried to gently tell my parents about this Zach character. I am pretty sure I sent an email to my mom that looked something like this:

Mom,
I know that Guy and I just broke up, but I met another person you need to know about. His name is Zach Sheets. I met him for the first time back in November, and he told me that he liked me a couple weeks ago. I know this sounds crazy, but I think I really like him too. *At this point, I was pretty much in love with Zach, but there's no need to freak a mom out, right?!*
I don't want you to think that he is a 'rebound' guy. I really do like him a lot. Oh yeah, he is 25...but he isn't too mature. *I was 19 at the time...and I was trying to describe the fun, young part about Zach, but it came out totally wrong. I still get made fun of for this phrase to this day.
Tell me what you think mom. I am kind of freaking out right now!
love you

I felt so much better after sending the email because my mom and I are all about details! I needed to tell her everything about Zach, but I decided to wait until the drama of the breakup had simmered down a little bit.

Anyways, I sent the email to her while I was at work one Friday afternoon. As the day progressed, Zach called me to let me know that he was heading to his hometown for the weekend. His little brothers were playing basketball games, and he really wanted to watch them play. I remember being really bummed out that we wouldn't be able to spend endless hours at Whataburger staring into each other's eyes (sickening, I know), but I tried to make the best of it by spending time with the girls. Later that evening, B (my roommate) and I were hanging out in our dorm room getting ready to go out. I decided to check my email before we left, and boy howdy was I glad I did. In my inbox was a reply from my mom. It read:

Kara,
I need to talk to you about something. It's about this Zach Sheets guy...
are his parents Kyle & Bernita Sheets? yes, that's strange that you know his parents...oh well, lots of people know this family! Is he the oldest of ten kids? yes...but again, this family does stand out in a crowd... Did his mom grow up in Guatamala as a missionary's kid, and are her brothers names Foy, Keith, Van and Paul? what-the-crap?!?! how does she know this? I didn't even know this! And Kara, this might scare you, but Zach's mom, Bernita, and Pam Graham are cousins. HOLY COW! This CAN NOT BE RIGHT! Pam Graham and MY mom are cousins......so that means.....that means....that Zach and I are related!!!!!!! Please call me as soon as possible. We need to talk.
love, mom

This was about the point that I was sweating like crazy! I was trying to decipher what this all meant, and at the same time trying to figure out if Zach and I really were kissy cousins- egh!
Instead of calling my mom, I called Zach to see if all of this information was correct. My hand was shaking as I dialed his number. When he answered, I could tell that he was at a basketball game, and I had to talk really loud.

'DID YOUR MOM GROW UP IN GUATEMALA?'
'Yes...'
'ARE HER BROTHERS' NAMES FOY, KEITH, VAN, and PAUL?'
Yes....
DOES SHE HAVE A COUSIN NAMED PAM GRAHAM?
Yeah, I love Pam!

silence....

I THINK WE ARE RELATED!
What?!?!
I THINK WE ARE RELATED- PAM IS MY MOM'S COUSIN, AND I LOVE HER TOO!

.....silence.....

Let me call you back....


I thought for sure he would never call me back! The seconds felt like years. That's it. It was over. The man I had fallen in love with was my cousin somewhere down the line. How much more embarrassing could this be?!?! This only happens in the movies. But no...it is happening to ME!

My phone rang. Finally he called me back! We awkwardly talked for a little bit about the whole email from my mom, and we decided that I better call my mom and figure out what this all meant! I was so afraid to know the truth, but I had to figure out the details! So, I called mom. I could tell that her voice sounded a little different, but I was too scared to think about it. I started throwing all different questions at her, but she couldn't seem to form an answer. About the time I was about to start really freaking out....she started laughing. Out of all things...LAUGHING! How could she? She had no idea how much I had already planned my life out with Zach. She had no idea that we were totally, utterly in love! If she knew...she wouldn't be laughing. She had no idea that we had already....kissed....more than once....more than twice....she just had no idea.
I think my mind was all over the place, because all I remember her saying was something like this:
'Kara, I need to tell you something. Pam is not my cousin. We grew up together, and we were best friends. I know her family so well that we went to their family reunions. You have thought your whole life that Pam and I are related, but we are not related. I sent that email as a joke.'

I would have strangled her if she was close, but since she wasn't, I decided to jump for joy instead! What a relief! Seriously......I had already planned how we could have a small, secret wedding so that our extended family wouldn't show up at the wedding and have to figure out which side to pick to sit on when the usher asks 'Are you with the bride or the groom?' So I was so relieved to hear that our relationship didn't have to be a secret!

I immediately called Zach and broke the good news to him. It was maybe the best phone conversation that we have ever had!

After talking to our moms, some other funny news came out of the whole ordeal! My mom and Zach's mom went to summer camp together, and they had been great friends in high school! They had not seen each other in over 25 years, so they had so much fun catching up over the phone and in person once they got to see each other! Crazy!

After all the confusion settled down, Zach and I were able to settle back down into the groove of dating (and staring into each others' eyes).

But the next big step was staring us in the face. It inevitably had to happen, and the time was quickly approaching. We had to meet each others' families.

Have I mentioned that Zach is the oldest of TEN kids?!!?!

TBC.

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14 comments:

Sydni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sydni said...

Sorry, I had to delete my first comment... it didn't make sense.

I read your blog all the time. The twins are beyond precious, your house looks great, and Pam Graham is one of my many cousins too (for real) and I love her very dearly as well.

annalee said...

this story is a hit around here! i actually just squealed with delight across our apt to evan when i saw you had posted the latest installment. we are laughing lots reading it aloud. you are the coolest for writing it all out.

Cassie said...

I loved this part of the story! It was HILARIOUS! You're a great story teller. I might have to steal this idea someday...we'll see. Mine's not nearly as interesting as yours!!

Staci said...

LOL!!! I'm glad your mom wasn't in the same town as you when she told you it was a joke!!!

I went with Terah & Zach one time to visit their family during our freshman year. That's a lot of people! They were all so sweet...but I can only imagine how intimidating it would be if you were dating one of the kids! I can't wait to hear how that plays out!

Kathy said...

Ok, speaking in my own defense: While I was having fun with you once I realized, incredulously, that I actually had a real connection with this Zach guy you were infatuated with, and knew things about his family that you didn't know, I NEVER implied that we were related to him! You came up with that all on your own- cause you can't even figure out your own relatives!!
I remember LOL when you thought we were related to Pam and therefore to Zach.
I still laugh when I remember the panic and then relief in your voice when I called you back.

JENNY said...

That was hilarious! I love that your mom told you Zach was related to you. haha! This is such a great story.

Kate said...

My favorite line: "Yeah, I love Pam." I was laughing so loud reading this! I had never heard it before...so funny!

Nate & Terah said...

I don't think I've ever heard this story in detail either! I'm loving it!

Marvin said...

Pam Graham, here and in person: I am truly delighted to be a part of your special, exciting, and (my fault?!) dramatic love story! It is such an honor and blessing to "really be cousins" and related to so many amazing wonderful people. When I refer to our larger-than-life family, lots of my friends can't imagine that we can live far apart and be so "close". By being the eldest granddaughter of our "Free" side of the clan, of which numbered above 180 before the Sheets' twins were born, I have been able to see the love and blessings spread from state to state. I truly do consider Kathy Brown's family my family, as much as I claim Zach's.
Thank you for sharing your precious life by words & pictures to those of us who love you so very much! Pam (Free) Graham

Kara Sheets said...

see...i didn't make this stuff up.
pam graham is a real person (whom we ALL love), and apparently she is cousins with LOTS of people.

if you are a cousin/relative of pam graham, please let a comment!

hmm...maybe i will just have a blog dedicated to such a thing. hmm....

Kara Sheets said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brown Sugar said...

i guess i never thought about the idea of being related or not related to marvin and pam. I never saw them at Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any other big family times, but if you were to ask me how we know pam graham, i would probably say somthing like, "i'm not sure. I think she's related to my mom somehow, or maybe she's related to my aunt bobbie. All I know is she's like a family member i see occasionally at special times and events in life."

Melissa said...

Andy and I had a scare like that while visiting Grandma and Pawpaw and I was already pregnant with Zane! Luckily we are NOT kissing cousins! It's just part of the sometimes too small world of CofC. By the way, you are a really great writer, just like your mom.